Ranting
by MostlyxShortxStories
Summary: Mello's daily thoughts and rants through an undated journal.He's nineteen with a dead-end job and a dwindlig social life. When he harbors feelings for his assumed-to-be-homophobic best friend, his life becomes much more pitiful. AU. Rewritten.
1. Damn Drag

**Edit A/N: **I'm finally getting around to editing/rewriting this. I _should _be editing Babysitting Project, but I think I love this one so much more. BP has just…shot down my inspiration nerves XD.

This whole fic was inspired by thin air, really. The edited version has a bit more dialogue and events, actions, more plot. Basically, a hell of a lot more going on, and an improvement in the basics of grammar. Hopefully XD.

**Chapter Theme: **Pardon Me _**by **_Incubus.  
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Warnings: **Language. The fic will be switching between first and third person.  
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Disclaimer: **I don't own Death Note or Incubus, though sometimes I wish I did .

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You know what's a real damn drag? Being nineteen years old with no social life, that's what.

Pathetic, right? Of. Fucking. Course.

And what's worse is even when you have a life, your parents give you an early curfew, and then your friends don't wanna hang out with you because you'll ruin their fun. Well, they might not say that exactly, but that's what they're hinting at.

And as if that's not enough, you get invited to a sweet sixteen by your best friend and it's for his little sister, but you don't want to go because you won't know anyone there. Because if you do, you'll be sitting all alone like a fucking loser and your best friend won't have any time for you because they'll be part of the dance routines, and you'll be alone either way and have to deal with a whole bunch of people from high school that you never really liked to begin with.

Yeah, that's my life right about now, and that's why I'm sitting here, angsting like a fucking freshman because in case you haven't noticed, I have absolutely nothing better to do, so sue me. Honestly, I think I'd rather be at work, conversing with the customers, because I'll never have to see them again, and I won't develop any attachments to them. It'd be fucking simple as making chocolate, which, in actuality, is harder than it looks, so, forget that saying.

On another note, I think I'd also rather be hanging out with my boss. He's a pretty chill guy, y'know; he eats sweets all day and somehow still remains in perfect shape and health. He's also a little cute, on a weird, panda-like level.

At the moment, though, no one has caught my interest. Well, it's not that much of a surprise, because I'm really hard to please. I'm sure you already knew that though, right? Right. I guess that's one of the reasons that I have no social life, but whatever, it's not like it's a big deal to me anyways. You end up too attached to someone, and you get hurt, and then you make stupid mistakes, and you feel stupid and at a loss for what to do. But then people come to you and tell you to either grow up, get over it, or that it's a part of life; that we all make mistakes so you shouldn't be feeling so bad.

Well you know what? Fuck you all. This is why I try to keep myself from building a relationship with people. Except aforementioned best friend, Matt Jeevas.

I damn him to the lowest circle in hell, damn him and his stupid goggles that hide his beautiful, stupid green eyes, and that stupid striped shirt that snugly fits that fine built body, and those stupid denim jeans that look fucking perfect on those stupid strong legs and sit on his stupid hips, and those stupid combat boots that complete the stupid list of how fucking stupidly hot he looks.

Yes, I left that ugly fur vest out, because that thing really _is_ stupid. Matt's not a god, so he can't rock everything he wears. Get over it. But it's not like you'll ever meet him. Matt's mine, bitches, and don't you forget it, or else-

"_Mello!"_

Goddammit. "What, mom?"

"_Can you come help me with dinner, please?"_

Mello grumbled unhappily as he closed his laptop and stood up, deciding to just obey his mother and help her in the kitchen. Maybe it would take his mind off of things for a while.

Yeah right. That's wishful fucking thinking. "Coming, mother," and Mello trudged out of his room, fuming silently and praying that his mom would fuck up like last time and burn something before the stove was even on.

Wishful thinking would really be taking on a toll on him tonight.

* * *

**A/N: **So far, is the edited version better? Worse?

Leave me your thoughts, and I shall leave you mini-Matts and mini-Mellos XD.


	2. Rant

**A/N: **All right, I'm an idiot. I completely fucked up the order of the chapters. The additional chapter was supposed to come after this one, and then the chapter _Close_ was next. So, forgive me ^_^. Heh, so now you kinda get three updates in one :D.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Death Note.

Enjoy!

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I had to work today. Did I mention that I'm a cashier – or clerk, what have you – at a woman's clothing store? I indeed am.

How'd I get it? The hiring manager loved my outgoing personality, and hired me on the spot. Then I met the official boss, L. Yes, the man with the sugar complex. He owns the place. It wasn't so bad today, but I was just tired. I hardly slept the night before and there was no coffee left this morning. Stupid Misa – my bimbo of a sister – drank it all. I swear she doesn't need the caffeine. She's hyper enough without it.

Well, it is officially the week after Matt's little sister's sweet sixteen, which I did not attend. Hopefully, he's not mad at me. I mean, I gave him a thorough, well-thought-out reason why I could not go:

I had nothing to wear.

Come on, I'm gay, and I really didn't have anything to wear. All my leather outfits just wouldn't have made me happy. Now, of course, there was also the reason that I wouldn't know anyone there and that I was going to be alone all night, but I couldn't tell him that, now could I?

Because what would he have thought of me? I would have looked stupid. I'm supposed to be Mello: gun-toting hot-ass with a perfect reputation.

God, I'm such a fraud. Not to mention a fucking loner who finds pleasure in daytime television.

Sure, I've got a gun, and I'm hot, but my reputation is…dwindling with my social life. Well, kind of. It's hard to explain. And Matt doesn't know that I'm gay, and I forgot to mention that when I told him I had nothing to wear, he looked at me as if I were a fucking girl.

So I told him that I had to work, and that I couldn't get that day off, to which he whined in that stupid voice of his, _'But Mello, you've had a whole three months' notice!'_ and I replied, _'Well tough titties. I need the_ _extra cash,'_ and he pouted that cute pout of his after whispering, '_Okay then, __**best friend.**__'_ Yeah, there was a big emphasis on 'best friend,' and he gave me those fucking puppy dog eyes. The douche bag was trying to guilt trip me with those perfect green eyes, but there was no way in hell that the bastard would get me to give in.

But damn if I didn't feel guilty, but like I said, I would have been alone, and I didn't want Matt to see me that way. Plus, I really had to work, and I _did _need the extra cash. There's a new leather vest at the _other _clothing store that I really want, and it's fucking expensive. It's not like they're a damn porn boutique! Well, not a widely known porno shop.

Anyways, since he doesn't know I'm gay, I'm scared what he would say to me if he found out. I don't think he particularly cares for 'my kind.'

In high school, gay couples would make out in the hallways before and after school and in-between classes, and I always noticed that Matt would give them some sort of weird look, as if he were disgusted. I would feel some pang in my chest when I saw the faces he would make, because if that was how he felt about them, then how would he feel about _me? _

Sure, I said that he's mine, but only in my sick fantasies and longing dreams.

Matt's never commented on gay guys, but the looks he gives them just tells me all I need to know.

And it fucking hurts.

It hurts to know that I can't confide in my best friend my deepest secret that nobody except my boss knows. I would feel too uncomfortable telling him, because I know how he feels about homosexuality. My uncle once told me, 'if you're uncomfortable confiding in your friends, then maybe they're not your friends at all.'

But I refuse to believe that bullshit. If Matt's my best friend, he shouldn't hate me, right?

I don't even have the answer to that, and I wish I did. If I could immediately know what his reaction would be if I came out to him –without telling him I love him more as a friend, because that would be pushing it – then I'd come out, or not, depending on the outcome.

Stupid Matt, making things fucking complicated.

Or is it just me? I could be wrong, and those looks could have been 'get-a-room' looks. Then again, that's just wishful thinking on my part. I seem to be doing that a lot, lately.

* * *

Mello stared at the screen of his laptop, deciding if he should punch it, kick it, or simply throw it out the window. He chose neither, and instead, went downstairs to see if his mother had finished breakfast.

As soon as he had one foot though the kitchen doorway, his mother began badgering him with questions.

"Mello, honey, did you pick an outfit yet for the party? Are you riding with Matt? How skin-tight is your leather?"

Rolling his eyes behind her back, Mello grabbed a chocolate muffin from the center bowl and viciously began to chew on it. "No, mother. And I'm not riding with Matt because I'm not going. Mom, if you wanna know how tight it is, then put them on yourself."

"Well why aren't you going?" His mother ignored his last question, recognizing that her son was on his man-period, and that she'd never fit into those leathers.

Expressionless, turquoise eyes met inquisitive teal ones. "I decided to pick up an extra shift at work. I need the money."

"Oh, alright then," came his mother's unconvinced reply, and Mello took another muffin before his heading back up to his room.

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**A/N: **See? Even Mello's mom wasn't convinced enough XD.


	3. Additionals: Matt

**Additional Chapter: Matt**

**A/N: **After editing this, I decided to add in a few extra chapters through Matt's POV. They will correspond with the previous chapters, so hopefully there will be no confusion. Enjoy!

**Warnings: **Language.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Death Note.

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Mello's been acting completely fucking weird lately. I'm genuinely concerned about him. I've always been. I know he's a strong guy and he can take care of himself, but things with him have just seemed a little off.

Like last week for example. I invited him to my sister's sweet sixteen around three months ago, and when we were hanging out last Wednesday, I reminded him and asked him if he was still going, which was a stupid question because _of course _he would go. He's my best friend anyways.

I almost died when he said no, and his reason? He didn't have anything to wear.

Okay, Mello may have a fucking girly haircut, and he may act like a little priss sometimes, but him declining a social invitation because he was out of hot, sexy outfits?

So I gave him a weird look. And then he came up with another excuse, the one that's been used since unions were formed.

'_I have to work.'_

Oh, fucking wonderful, Mello. The blond priss never gave two shits about his lame-ass girly job. Honest to Zelda, that was just an excuse to miss my sister's sweet sixteen.

So, I calmly replied to him, _'But Mello, you've had a whole three months' notice!' _And then he used the one excuse to top them all.

'_I need the extra cash.' _

His mom's a lawyer and his dad's a surgeon. The asswipe doesn't need any 'extra' cash; he has the luxury of going up to his parental units and demanding a couple extra bucks be added to his allowance. But he doesn't do that. Mello is a man of goals, and a hard worker.

Even if his job description includes hanging up pastel-colored bras and shelving floral-printed panties.

When he finished spewing out his excuses, I used drastic measures, and in a whispered voice, said, _'Okay then, __**best friend.**__' _Note that huge emphasis, along with the puppy dog eyes I gave him. He almost melted.

It would have been cute if he did, though. Mmm, melted-Mello. I wonder what flavor he would be?

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**A/N: **I've ended this chapter here because…it didn't want to end at all, and it needed to end _somewhere _XD. So yes, the first additional chapter. How was it?


	4. Close

**EDIT A/N: **Rewriting isn't so bad XD. So how did you like the extra chapter? You can expect some more of those XD. And remember chapter one's theme? It's Pardon Me, by Incubus. Well, I'm making that Mello's theme for this fic, just because I think it fits him quite well XD. Erm, I guess you'd have to see it from my point of view O.O.

**Warnings: **Language.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Death Note.

Matt came _so close _to finding out I was gay.

Here's how it happened: so, my dad's in the Mafia, and his boss is Rod Ross (a big buff guy), but that's not the important part here, though it is relevant. Well, Matt and I were sitting on his porch watching life pass us by. He lives on a semi-busy street, with four or five cars passing by every three minutes.

So, we're sitting there, and he's playing his video games and smoking (I hate smoke but he looks so damn sexy while doing it!) and I'm looking at the cars and viciously snapping off pieces of my chocolate. Four minutes of sitting there pass on, and a blue mini-coop drives by, and I say, _'Oh damn, I want that car so bad!'_ Little did I know that Matt had watched that same car drive by, and after I made my little declaration, he turned to me and said, _'Why? Are you gay_ _or something?'_ He looked pretty menacing when he asked me that. Or maybe it was those damn goggles obscuring those stupidly beautiful green eyes.

I immediately shouted _'No!', _and he looked at me weird and told me that I was acting too defensive. The look in his eyes was stern, as if he was _daring _me to say that I was gay. He asked me why I wanted that car in the first place, and said something about it being a stupid car that was too small and only girls and gay guys would drive that type of vehicle.

That made my blood boil, but I pushed my anger away and quickly thought up a lie.

'_Well, y'know, big guys like tiny cars.'_ I made eye contact with him and tried to make my lie sound plausible. _'In the morning they put on their shirts, their pants, their shoes, and their cars. Check out Rod in his buggy-outfit.'_

Matt only stared at me, confused, and chuckled a bit_. 'Mello, you're not a big guy; well, not like Rod. You're scrawny with a few muscles here and there, and slim hips.'_

_That _got my attention quickly. He was describing my body. Does that mean that he was checking me out? Or _did _he at one point?

Anyways, I thought up a witty remark that would let him know that I noticed he had described my my feminine build. I wouldn't pass up that opportunity.

'_Whatever, Matt. Did you know that you just described my body? Were you checking me out or something?'_

Now _his _face went bright red. Maybe there was hope for me after all?

Well, after I asked him that and he turned the color of a tomato, he laughed and told me to stop being so ridiculous. I'm starting to think that maybe he wouldn't hate me if I told him I'm gay.

So, my secret was almost exposed, but I'm sure that maybe he won't be hostile towards me when I tell him my gender preferences. But even if he were to act so violently towards my exposure, I'd simply stick my foot up his ass so he would know what a gay man goes through.

I'm not going to be telling him about my orientation anytime soon, though. I'll let things play out, possibly drop a few _subtle _hints, and take it from there. If things don't work out, then they just don't. Why force something to work if it was never meant to be?

Well, other than Matt almost finding out, I didn't have to work today. That's how I was able to sit on his porch with him, enjoying life as it lazily floated by. I left his house at six, because my mom was bitching that dinner was ready and that I needed to be home. So I listened to her…and left.

What nineteen year old listens to his mother?

Oh yeah; _me._ Fuck my life.

**A/N: **Do you think Mello is a bit OOC? I've never written from his POV before, except when I first wrote this fic, but now that I'm editing it, I see how OOC he seemed. Leave me your thoughts?


	5. Citrus

**A/N: **Alright, since I fucked up the last few chapters, here's a new one, and it's _early._ Heh. On another note, listening to Oldies while writing really helps ^_^. Here's just a few songs: _Just My Imagination _by The Temptations. _Be Thankful For What You've Got _by William DeVaughn.

And then not-so-oldie songs help as well. Such as _Enjoy The Silence _by Depeche Mode. Gah, I love this song. I feel like it might fit the theme of this fic as well, or, at least every time Mello angsts about how hostile Matt would be if his gender preferences were exposed. *shrugs* Who knows :D.

**Warnings: **Language. A bit of a…citrusy scene…I guess. Ah, dammit, it's self-lovin', k? And this chapter switches from Mello's POV, then to first person, then back to Mello. In that order. Heh.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Death Note. Durr.

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As soon as I returned home from Matt's place, my mom started bitching at me that I was ten minutes late, then went off on a sob story about how I didn't appreciate all her hard work and blah. Normally, her rants would bug me to no fucking end, but not that night. I was happy, which was a little weird for me. Usually, _I'm _the one that angsts and walks around in a bad mood. I think my mom's going through menopause.

But, Matt was the reason I was happy, just because I had evidence – well some sort of proof – that he, at one point or another, checked out my awesome bod. And, I could stretch the truth here and there, and tell myself that he was drooling over the smooth curves of my body, that his heart beat rapidly and his breath came in short, quiet pants as his eyes roamed up and down my taut abs, over the curve of my ass…

Then again, I've always been good at lying to myself. But hey, if it gets me to orgasm during nighttime fantasies, then I'm all for it.

My head is seriously fucked up.

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_Bzzz..bzzz..bzzz_

At six a.m. Mello's phone vibrated, the words **One New Text **displayed on the screen in bright letters. Mello groaned and rolled over, reaching blindly for his phone as he slid the Unlock button on the touchscreen and read his message. He groaned again after he read it.

_I've got a surprise for you. ^_^ –Matt._

"What the fuck could he surprise me with at six in the damn morning?" Mello asked the air. The smiley face in Matt's message was just enough to make him smother his face in his pillow. Only Matt would be wide awake at that hour and _smile _about it.

Mello threw his pillow aside, then tapped out his reply. _Oh joy. Can't wait. –Mello._

Matt's reply was quicker than his. _Don't be a grouch, Mels. You'll like your surprise; promise. ^_^ –Matt_

Mello didn't text back, instead throwing his legs over the side of the bed and wobbling to his joined bathroom for a hot shower. As the water heated up, Mello threw off his clothes and grabbed his toothbrush and toothpaste, examining himself in the mirror. He gave a quick nod of approval before stepping into his shower and under the spray.

The hot water hit his body lovingly, and cascaded down his smooth flesh. Goosebumps appeared on his skin as, in his imagination, the little streams of water turned into nimble fingers, _gamer's _fingers, caressing his skin lightly. The fingers travelled lower, covering every inch of his skin as if they couldn't bear to go without. Sensitive flesh of Mello's inner thigh was circled before the fingers moved to the flesh in-between, hard and pulsing. Mello's imagination floated away, the fingers returning to the tiny rivulets of water, and his own digits wrapped around his length.

He pumped slowly at first, going from base to tip, pressing his thumb gently against the slit. His hand slid back down toward the base, adding slight pressure. Mello's lips parted as he softly gasped and closed his mouth once more. He had to be quiet.

His pace became slightly faster, every now and then slowing down as he added more and more pressure to the base of his cock, his mouth emitting small moans of pleasure. His hand moved faster and he had to bite down on his tongue to keep himself from making too much noise. Somewhere in the back of his mind he remembered that his parents were still at work from the night before, and he let loose a loud and satisfied scream as he came on the porcelain tiled walls.

Mello panted as his eyes slipped closed and he slid down the opposite wall. His head was reeling as he came down from his orgasm.

Standing up he turned off the water and stepped out, wrapping a towel around his waist and walking back into his room. He smiled and dug through his closet for a work outfit, humming happily as he thought about his orgasm and contemplated the surprise Matt had for him.

Today would be a good day for him.

* * *

We got a new worker, a _male _employee. He's so fucking cute, maybe even cuter than Matt.

I mean, let's face it; Matt and I are _never _going to happen. It's just fucking obvious. So he might have been blushing when I asked him if he was checking me out last week, but that doesn't mean a fucking thing. Lots of guys get embarrassed because the 'victim' flips everything around and maybe _some _of what they're saying is _partly _true.

But I won't dwell on that today. I'm still on cloud nine from this morning (shut up. I give myself some mind-blowing orgasms) and there's a hot guy in my work place.

This boy is the most gorgeous boy on the fucking planet! When he was going through the interviews and shit, I wasn't there. It was about two weeks ago, and I had a day off, and I had asked Matt if he wanted to go walking or something, and the fucker turned me down because he was 'busy' with something. He was probably playing Halo: Breach, Reach, breathe…whatever. I don't keep up with the Nerd Times.

So I wasn't during the interview process, and when he was hired two days later. Obviously, or else my jaw wouldn't have dropped when I saw him from afar and then actually got a good view of his face. So _this _was Matt's surprise.

The new employee was Matt. _My _Matt.

It was no fucking wonder why from a distance the man looked exactly like him; same shirt, pants, and boots. But, he wasn't wearing his goggles.

Matt made eye contact with me and smiled, and my face heated up.

This morning, it was Matt's fingers that I had imagined touching me, right before I came back to reality and used my own hand for my…pleasure.

I smiled back then walked straight past him and into the bathroom, splashing cold water on my face and making myself flaccid. I had to remain calm throughout the day and push away my naughty thoughts.

Easier said than done.

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**A/N: **Yeah, I think the time skips are a bit…weird…like, almost out of left field XD. I couldn't help it ^_^. I needed somewhere to start the next paragraphs ^_^.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: **So, yes, I did say in my profile that I was done writing. Well, reason and inspiration have come back. Thank gawd, because I was seriously starting to go crazy.

This chapter is short. XD

**Disclaimer: **I don't own.

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Mello was a little off today, as in more so than usual. Usually when he sees me, his face lights up in excitement, his eyes sparkle, and he smiles from ear to ear. I swear a background of hearts drop down behind him as well.

Erm, cough cough. I think I'm taking this a little too far, or I'm enjoying it way too much. It's possibly a combination of both, including my imagination messing with me again. Dear Lord, I need your guidance.

Well, to the main part, or back to it. Mello was acting just a little weirder than normal. I saw him at work, because, yeah, I was offered a part-time position from his boss. But yeah, when I saw Mello at work, I smiled, it was returned, and then he ran into the frickin' bathroom like some shy, hormonal school-girl. And yes, there was a bit of a bulge in his pants. These goggles are like fucking magnifying lens.

Anyways, there wasn't much to do at work today, except wonder why the fuck Mello was avoiding me like the black plague. To be honest, I'm pretty sure he has a thing for me, if the bulge in his pants this morning was anything to go by. But, that's just my mind fucking with me. And my blood system, which is currently screaming for a cigarette.

Matt waltzed outside to his porch and nearly bumped into Mello, who was waiting by his doorstep.

"Sorry Mells, didn't see you – hey! What are you doing here?"

"Erm, I…wanted to come talk to you." The blond almost looked offended, and Matt drew him into a quick hug and apologized.

"What did you want to talk about?" Taking a seat, Matt lit up his cigarette and took a long drag, motioning for Mello to sit next to him.

Mello hesitated a moment before plopping his ass down, and cleared his throat. "Well, nothing, or anything." Silently he wondered if Matt had noticed his odd behavior, and then mentally slapped himself. Because, really. They were best friends, so naturally, Matt would notice _anything._

It was then that Mello went into mental panic mode. _'Fuck. I had a bulge in my pants. Shit shit mother of God shit. I hope he didn't notice that. Fuck. I am so fucking dead.'_

The sound of soft chuckling brought Mello out of his inner turmoil. "Can't make up your mind, huh? How about you tell me why you were acting so weird today at work?"

"I was not." Mello looked the other way.

"You were."

"Okay fine, I was, but I'm not sure why. I guess I'm just a little tired lately."

Matt gave Mello a skeptical look. "Dude, you're never tired. You're always a bundle of energy."

"Well, I didn't sleep much last night, okay?"

Chuckling, Matt took a drag of his cigarette and patted Mello on the head. He'd decided to let the matter go, for now, and the rest of the evening was spent in silence.


	7. Frustration

**A/N: After seeing the new multiple favorites and follows for this fic, my muse has slowly begun to leak inside my head. That, and this fic is on the flash drive that I just saved my Art History term project on, so I figured 'Eh, why not open up **_**Ranting**_** and see where I left off?'**

**Thank you to those who have favorited and followed, even though it has been two years since I last touched this.**

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_Damn! Damn it all! Now Matt's gonna see that I'm a fucking fag._

_This is going to be fucking epic. All my regular customers, the ones who can't keep their fucking mouths shut, are going to come in and make a bunch of gay-guy references and ask if I've kissed any hot guys lately. I don't know if I'll survive today. _

_Oh, look at that; it's time to start work._

Mello closed his locker and entered his combination to seal it. The technology at his job was pretty well-advanced, and instead of time cards, employees were instructed to place their hand on the register in the front, where it would scan and recognize their whole print.

Mello hated it. He preferred to clock in the old fashion way, but since things never went the way he wanted them too, he just had to deal.

Walking out of the back room, he noticed that Matt was already hanging up bras, and before the redhead could notice him, he dashed to the register, clocked in (while sulking silently about it), and walked calmly but quickly to the other side of the store to help some unfamiliar customers.

Matt had noticed him the entire time, however, but decided not to try and stop him to even say 'hi' or ask what was wrong with him. Obviously, Mello needed his space, but if the blond thought he was going to find any in the shop, he was dead wrong. Matt had only been in there for one half hour, and it was already crowded with fourteen people. Every six minutes or so, his bra-hanging was interrupted, but he didn't mind. He found he rather liked this job.

For the next two and a half hours, Mello had successfully managed to avoid the regulars, always finding some other task to do before they could stop him for some gossip. It was a damn miracle in itself that none of them had shouted out, "Where's that gay blond guy?" or else he would have been dead, humiliated, and Matt would probably never talk to him again.

Speaking of Matt, Mello felt a little bad that he was also avoiding his best friend, who looked a bit hurt when Mello would walk all the way around a table just to keep from stepping in the redhead's vicinity. He knew he looked suspicious and that he had to give him _some _excuse to his strange behavior, so when their break came around, he followed Matt outside.

"Hey, um, Matt?" he started off sounding rather shy, and he cursed himself internally.

Matt turned to look at him, eyes darting from his blond hair to his shoulders, right down his arms and over an exposed belly. Shaking his head of those thoughts, he answered. "Yeah, Mells?"

"Look, I…I'm sorry I've been acting kinda…weird, today. I just don't feel right. Life's a bit bland right now."

"But why were you avoiding me? Did I do something wrong?"

Mello didn't make eye contact as he gave him the redhead his most reasonable excuse, and hoped above hope that his best friend believed him. "It's nothing to do with you. I guess I was just surprised that you would work here. I mean, it's a woman's clothing store, and besides the boss, I'm the only guy here."

"I still don't see how that would cause you to avoid me all day like the plague." Matt was skeptical, and it didn't get past him that Mello would not look at him while he spoke.

_What the fuck is up with him? First, he gave me some lame-ass excuse as to why he couldn't attend my sister's party. Then, he makes some frilly comment at my house about some girl car and acts all defensive. Now he's been avoiding me all fucking day and can't even look me in the eye or give me a fucking straight answer. And why does he blush when I'm near him?_

"Mello, will you at least look at me, please?"

Mello wasn't going to answer; instead, he opted for shrugging his shoulders and mumbling an apology, expecting Matt to tell him again that his answer wasn't sufficient.

What he didn't expect was for said boy to roughly grab his chin and force him to face the other, foreheads nearly touching and breaths mingling. Mello's eyes widened just a bit, as Matt's shown with something akin to fury.

"You've been acting weird for three fucking weeks! First, it was with my sister's party, then that day at my house, and now this morning up to this moment. What the fuck is going on?" Matt was definitely furious, and his hold on Mello tightened as Mello tried getting out of his grip. He wasn't letting go anytime soon; not until he received an answer that made enough sense or until he had the whole fucking truth.

Mello's eyes were slightly watering as Matt yelled. That, and he was so close to him and could almost kiss him, but he couldn't. The temptation was there, but he just couldn't follow it. It was like there was an invisible wall between them, and plus, things would most likely end badly and Matt would never speak to him again, and there was not a snowball's chance in Hell that he would risk his friendship just because he was weak.

"I don't know!" Mello finally yelled, but Matt wasn't buying it.

"Don't give me that bullshit, Mello. Why-"

"Um, excuse me?" It was Leah, trying to tell them that their break was over. "Come on guys, break's up. We've got customers to assist."

Matt nodded as Leah went back inside, and he finally released his grip on Mello. Mello looked to the ground for comfort and began walking inside, but was startled once again as Matt's hand grabbed his own.

Matt was going to do a little test, just to see if he could find a clue as to what was causing his best friend to be so out of character.

Cupping Mello's cheek with his free hand, he rubbed his thumb over the smooth skin, noticing the slight shiver that he received from such a simple action. Did Mello feel uncomfortable when Matt did that? No, because then he would have pushed the hand away. Instead, Mello blushed, a light, dusty pink coloring his pale cheeks.

_He keeps fucking blushing. This is so weird._

A tear slipped down his cheek, and Matt gently wiped it away, wondering why in the hell Mello was crying. What was so damn frustrating that would have the blond in tears?

"Matt, I…need to go inside now." Mello gently pulled away from Matt, and without looking back at him, walked into the shop.

Matt was left standing there, utterly bewildered and frustrated.


End file.
